2019-01-31

#72: Happy Birthday

"Happy Birthday!" says Fred. "You remembered!" exclaims Elaine. "Open it!" says Fred, handing Elaine a pink box with a red bow. She rips the paper to reveal a cyan box, with green bow. She rips it again and reveals an Amazon box. She starts to get annoyed and Fred confused. She rips again to reveal a blue box and purple bow. "This is ridiculous. How much packaging did you order?" asks Elaine. "Lemme check," says Fred, pulling out his phone, as Elaine rips the paper to reveal a FedEx box. The Amazon website is shown, with "PACKAGING INTENSITY: Select one" printed. There are Basic, Advanced, Insane, and Matryoshka doll checkboxes. The last is checked. In the next panel, "EARLIER THAT DAY..." is the caption as Fred, at a laptop, says, "Hm. "Matryoshka doll"? Wonder what that means..." CLIK 
To Nana.

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2019-01-30

#71: Look Closely

Solid black, except for dark gray text that almost blends in. "you have good eyes."
Can you see it?
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2019-01-29

#70: Up

Amanda dunks a basketball, but she floats higher into the air instead of falling. Soon she is high in the sky, above the Margonsfield skyline.
Up...and up..and up...
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2019-01-28

#69: U-Turn

The ISS is flying over Earth. "This is Alice Dunkynes. We've succesfully docked to the ISS. Over. "Wow, it's so peaceful out here." "Hey, Alice? Can I tell you something?" "Sure, Lisa." "I forgot my phone." "We are NOT going back for it."
"But...Candy Crush!" "No."
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2019-01-27

#68: Nanowave

The caption: FROM THE CREATORS OF THE MICROWAVE... COMES THE NANOWAVE! A microwave with a smiley face "Smiley face, to cheer you up! Interchangable with sad face for sad occasions, i.e. dropping a cookie.", a confusing stuff® sticker "Sticker of the maker company, to annoy you!", a clock that reads 0000000000 "Uses Unix epoch time!", a keypad with square root, times 2 "Has square root and times 2 buttons, replacing add 30 seconds!", Bluetooth "Connects to Bluetooth", and a stick figure button "Reads transcript of latest xkcd comic!", also there is a leak "Leak!", radio antenna "Radio antenna!", and a Google Assistant sticker "Connects to Google Assistant!" The caption is BUY YOURS NOW! with $99,999.99 crossed out, replaced by $99,999.94. LIMITED OFFER!
It has a "fruit cake" setting, too! For that awkward situation when you want to microwave fruit cake, but your microwave hasn't got that button!
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2019-01-26

#67: Campfire

Elaine is confused, Max is drinking gasoline with a GLUG GLUG GLUG. Then he starts eating a log with a SNARF CRUNCH YUM. Elaine asks, "Why are you eating wood?" Max's eyes glow yellow and he breathes fire, almost hitting Elaine. "That's why." he says later. Both of them are roasting marshmallows on the new fire. The caption: "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. IT WILL NOT WORK."

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2019-01-25

#66: Opposite Day

"Is today Opposite Day?" Fred asks Max. Max says, Nope and Not in red, ""NOPE!" Today is "not" Opposite Day!" "Oh." says Fred. "Wait a minute..."

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2019-01-24

#65: Helpful Advice

Fred is standing at a HELPFUL ADVICE stand with a $2 crossed out in red, replaced by a red $1. Fred hands Cutie Pie a dollar. Cutie Pie hands him an envelope. Back on his couch at home, he opens the letter. It says "DON'T BUY THIS JUNK." Fred is annoyed.

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2019-01-22

#64: 1,000,000

The caption is "1,000,000 COMICS!*" in glowing blue letters. On the C, Cuddles the green snake is hanging with pink hearts. Next to him, Max is hovering in a rainbow sparkle cloud. At the bottom is the footnote, "Well, 64. 64 is 1,000,000 in binary." On top, Friday is standing with a sign that says "WOOL = $5.99/lb" and saying, "$₿€!" There is also a carboard box with big black eyes and a wobbly smile, a green dinosaur holding an orange mug that's glowing and sucking things toward it, Time, a speck, with the caption "hi!" above it surrounded by a red rectangle, and riding the dinosaur is Alex. Elaine is at the end of the footnote. Fred is hanging on.
Our 64th comic! But 64 is 1,000,000 in binary.
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2019-01-20

#63: Stick Figure Checkup

At the top is the caption "❤️ HOW TO KNOW IF A STICK FIGURE IS HEALTHY". Fred is standing on a scale that reads 0.0 lb, giving a thumbs-up. Information is coming off of him. "DEPTH PERCEPTION: Nada" "HEAD SIZE: 1 inch" "IQ: 64 (Lower Extreme)" "HEARTBEAT: NaN ❤️" "WAIST SIZE: 0 cm (0 in)" "HEIGHT: ≈3 inches" "WEIGHT: 0 lb (0 kg)" "BMI: 0.0 (Underweight)"

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2019-01-17

#62: ISS Found This

There is a view of Africa from space. Around the Earth are stars. A constellation arrow-points to the Earth, reading "Property of ". 
The ISS found a strange pattern in the stars today... :D
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2019-01-16

#61: Not Dishwasher Safe (Part Five)

Time, a speck, is in the middle of the panel, above it a red rectangle with some parts missing. Inside is narrow black text, the speech of Time. "the universe will be down for a few minutes, due to some trouble with a time machine. we apologize for the inconvenience." "okay, we're back!" Max and Elaine come out of the speck with a ZAP, along with an orange mug. Max and Elaine hit the ground with a WHUMP. "cu, max!" says Time as it disappears into a blue portal that sucks everything toward it with a "NYEOOOO". "Later, Time!" says Max. Elaine is holding the mug.

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2019-01-15

#60: Not Dishwasher Safe (Part Four)

Max and Elaine are standing in a desert. Max is holding an orange mug, which has a speech balloon with a green full battery icon. "Okay! The time machine has solar-recharged! Time to go!" says Max. With a "ZAP" the sky darkens, a burst of light, Max, Elaine, and the mug turn silver. They appear with a "ZAP", white on one of four paths coming off a gray pillar, coming from down below, where it is brighter. The sky is dark blue. "Where are we?" asks Elaine. Max says, "Oh. Uh, since time got stuck in a dishwasher, the universe needs a li'l reboot." On the pillar is a button on a black metal construction. Max presses the button with a "click". "Just press it right there, and the universe might be down for a minute or two..." With a fizz the panel goes blank. 
-- ERROR > THE UNIVERSE HAS CRASHED AND WILL NOT RESPOND FOR A FEW MINUTES. WE APOLOGIZE. THE CELESTIAL ADMINS ARE ON IT! :D <--

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2019-01-14

#59: Not Dishwasher Safe (Part Three)

A green T-Rex with its green tongue hanging out is chasing Elaine, who is behind Max, who is holding an orange mug. "We've gotta get outta here!" says Elaine. "How?" says Max. They are sliding towards the edge of a cliff. All three fall off. "The time machine!" shouts Elaine. "It's out of battery!" says Max, rattling the orange mug. They land, Elaine off-balance. "Hey, T-Rex!" says Max. Then he splashes the T-Rex using a gigantic green squirt gun labeled Soakey Soak and the dinosaur is jetted off-panel. Dizzy swirls and stars come from off-panel. Max puts away the Soakey Soak. "How-?" asks Elaine. "I always keep a squirt gun, just in case. Should buy us enough time to recharge the time-machine." says Max.

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2019-01-13

#58: Not Dishwasher Safe (Part Two)

With a zap, the sky darkens, a burst of light and sparkles as Max, Elaine, and a mug appear in midair above an excited dinosaur with shiny eyes, landing with a WHUMP. The mug is orange. "We should run." says Elaine. "It looks friendly..." says Max. Later, the T-rex is chasing them, saying, "i wants 2 eat u! lol 😂" "No! Not lol!" says Elaine. Max, now holding the mug, says "It's not friendly."

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2019-01-12

#57: Not Dishwasher Safe (Part One)

"Mom! Have you seen my time machine? It looks like an orange mug!" says Max as he comes running into the panel. "Yeah, I put an orange mug in the dishwasher." says Elaine. "Oh, no. It's not a mug, it's a TIME MACHINE. And it's NOT DISHWASHER SAFE." says Max. The panel turns darker as light comes from the left, and also an "eeeeeee" sound. Max and Elaine whip their heads around. They are getting blurry. They and a green T-Rex blur and warp with an eeeeBOOM as the panel shatters. "to be continued" reads the caption.
Never, EVER put a time machine in the dishwasher. It leaves weird stains all over the plates. And also the universe shatters.
1 comment:

2019-01-11

#56: Units

The caption is "UNITS I DEFINE EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING" On the left is a bullet point list with stars for bullet points and finally a heart for the last point. The list is: A COUPLE = 2, A FEW = 3, SEVERAL = 7, A MYRIAD = 150, and finally the heart, LOVE = 🎵 525,600 min-utes 🎵Next to the list is a marked beaker with COUPLE at the second mark, FEW at the third mark, and SEVERAL at the seventh mark,

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2019-01-10

#55: Baa

Grady is about to leave the panel, when one of two sheep says "Baa." ""Baa." You sheep! You can only make one sound, over and over, where humans-we have a LANGUAGE!" Grady's hands are on his hips. "You animals can only communicate one thing! Humans have and infinite combonation of sounds that free them to communicate whatever they wish! And another thing..." The caption is "FROM THE SHEEP'S POINT OF VIEW" in the next panel as Grady gets on his knees and says, "Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa..." "Hmph. Humans. They just make the same noises over and over again." says one sheep. The other says, "I wonder what he thinks he's saying..."

1 comment:

2019-01-08

#54: Stan Lee

A cloud with glowing blue eyes is roaring "GROARRR" and raining on Amanda and Max. In a cloud of rainbows and sparkles, Max pushes the cloud away with a NUDGE, and floats off the ground with VWRRR. "Hey Max, how did you get your powers?" asks Amanda. Max explains, "Well it all started one day..." The panel changes to a weather screen with MON showing a sun, TUE showing a rain cloud, and WED showing a radioactivity symbol. "When I was bitten by a radioactive meteorologist," says Max and reads the caption, as a bald meteorologist with black eyes chomps Past Max's arm, who is surprised. Amanda can't think of anything to say for a while except "Spider-Man is going to sue you." Max says, "I'm the one who came up with it first. He just patented it."


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2019-01-07

#53: Cutie Pie (Part Three)

The panels are black with white drawings. Cutie Pie shouts "YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME!" Then trips on a rock. "Well, you'll never find the ladder!" he says dizzily, with cartoon stars, planets and swirls, from off-panel. Fred is staring at a button which has an arrow declaring "PUSH 4 LADDER". Fred pushes it with a BEEP, and down comes a ladder with a CLUNK. "Rats." says Cutie Pie from off-panel as Fred climbs the ladder fully in dim light now, a black drawing instead of white. Half the ladder is dimly lit.

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2019-01-06

#52: Cutie Pie (Part Two)

Fred is tied to a chair in darkness, where lines are white and panels are black. "Now that you're here, you're doomed!" says Cutie Pie. "I SHALL PLUNGE THE WORLD INTO CHAOS!" he says and Fred gnaws his binds. "evil... hahaha..." he whispers. Fred stands up, his binds broken, and shouts "LOOK OVER THERE!" Cutie Pie turns toward where Fred pointed, and Fred runs away.

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2019-01-02

#51: Cutie Pie (Part One)

Fred is whistling, walking down a sidewalk, falls into a hole, and hits his head with a "CLUNK". The panels turn black with white drawings. "TWO HOURS LATER... FRED WAKES UP." reads the caption. "Where am I?" he asks. "In my evil lair!" answers a person with a porkpie hat. "Who are you?" Fred asks, while struggling. "My name is Cutie Pie!" Cutie Pie answers. "This potion will erase your memories and hypnotize you as my evil servant!" he claims, pulling out a giant syringe. "NO! DON'T!" Fred screams. "Why? Want to keep your precious memories?" asks Cutie Pie. "No, it's not that. I don't like needles..." answers Fred. Cutie Pie puts away the needle and looks annoyed. 
Today I introduce my first human evil villain.

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2019-01-01

#50: Deja Vu

Fred is on top of the 5 of a giant pink plastic 50 shouting "WOOHOO!" Elaine says "This all seems vaguely familiar..."
Happy New Year! This is my 50th comic. Before this, I published Tiny Stripz: Our 50th Comic! which actually was the 36th, and I have published 36 comics only on DeviantArt (49 on Blogger, because I started earlier) before this. Cool!
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