2019-08-30

#195: The Other Side (Part Nine)

The Pillbug (a giant pillbug) is carrying two packs on his back. Max wearing red goggles and Elaine as an ant is walking next to him. "What's that?" asks the Pillbug. "What?" says Max. The Pillbug stands up. His antennae quiver. "I can feel something. Something close by." "You have pillbug-sense?" "Shh!" They come next to a river. "Oh great, a river." says Max. "Hmm..." says the Pillbug, and presses on a rock. BEEP FSHHHH A portal, complete with seaweed and octopus, comes out of the river. "Whoa." says Max. "You first." says the Pillbug. "Whee!" says Max, jumping in. Elaine jumps in too. On the other side of the portal we see they have appeared in an outer space like enviroment and are glowing blue.
There are octopi in rivers? 🐙🌊 #OctopusInARiver
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2019-08-28

#194: The Other Side (Part Eight)

The Pillbug (a giant pillbug) types on a laptop. TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP "java -jar run.jar Running. Results: -----" DING! The laptop displays radar. "This way! Just let me pack some bags." says the Pillbug. Max and Elaine as an ant follow him. 2 HOURS LATER... They are hiking through the hills near mountains. "So, why are you coming?" asks Max. "Well, 100 years ago, our ancestors foretold that the North Wind led to the Exit." says the Pillbug. "The "Exit"?" asks Max, carrying a roll on his back. "We pillbugs can't fit through portals. So we have to go through the Exit of the Other Side. But it's hard to find the North Wind, because "north" here is always changing. The Other Side is ruled by a crazy dictator. We're looking for refuge on your side."
You can display radar on the command line?
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2019-08-25

#193: The Other Side (Part Seven)

Max, wearing red goggles and carrying Elaine as an ant, is walking among spirits such as The Grim Reaper, a red blob, two ghosts, and a giant pillbug. "North Wind, huh?" he says. "Did you say North Wind?" asks the pillbug. "Yeah." says Max. "I know what that is! Follow me! See, the North Wind is a wind that's north." says the Pillbug. "I guessed that." says Max. "YOU DID?! YOU'RE SMART!!!" exclaims the Pillbug. They arrive at a small green door. "I've spent my whole life working on a North Wind tracking machine! Come see!" says the Pillbug. They go through the door, into a blue house with a chandelier. "Welcome to my humble home!" says the Pillbug. "Whoa." says Max. They see a giant machine plugged into two outlets and a laptop. "This bad boy will locate the North Wind for ya. Don't touch, ok?" says the Pillbug. "Got it." says Max.
< First Pretty nice home for a pillbug. Actually, pretty nice home for anyone.
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2019-08-23

#192: The Other Side (Part Six)

Max, with red goggles and carrying Elaine as an ant, sees a purple tent with stars on it. PHSYCIC SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS! "Hmm..." he says. He goes in. It is dark. "Hello?" he asks. Two glowing snakish eyes appear. "HELLOOOO! CAN I HELP YOU?" The text is blurred and glowing. "Um...my mom was turned into an ant." says Max. "AH, YESS... FOLLOW THE NORTH WINDD..." says the psychic being. "Ok...why?" asks Max. The being and its words pixellates and glitches apart. "FOLLOW THE NORTH WINNND..." The text is a mere blur and the being is now a few pixels.
< First That was weird.
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2019-08-21

#191: The Other Side (Part Five)

Max wearing red goggles says "Here, take these." to Elaine, handing her a pair of green goggles. "Wow!" she says as she puts them on. She can see through the goggles Max making a funny face and two ghosts. The goggles identify info about each creature. "What does this button do?" she says, pressing a button BEEP. "Don't-" Max says, reaching out to stop her, but too late. There is a POP and she disappears. Max looks on the ground. He is annoyed. Elaine has turned into an ant. "?!?" says Elaine. "Ok, Mom. Let's go find you a cure." says Max. "|||||" says Elaine. Max walks past some stands. "Which of these stores do you think sells antidotes?" he asks. "|||||..." says Elaine.
< First You should really put a warning label on that button.

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2019-08-19

#190: The Other Side (Part Four)

Max looks at his pager. It reads: THIS IS TIME. WHERE ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? He replies "Other Side. BRB helping mom" "BTW can u call us an Uber 2 market?" "No problem." pages Time. A futuristic space car with glowing colorful exhaust driven by a purple ghost hovers next to them. BEEP BEEP Next panel: Max and Elaine are in the back seat. "So why are you here?" asks Elaine. "Business." says Max, relaxing with his arms behind his head. "Why did you have to get such a weird job?" asks Elaine. "Paranormal. Not weird." says Max. "Where are we?" asks Elaine. "The Market. It's the black market of the spirit world." NYEOOO the space car begins to land. "You take business trips to the black market?!" asks Elaine. "Hey, look! We're here." says Max, changing the subject. 
< First "What are you even buying here?" "Lemons."
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2019-08-16

#189: The Other Side (Part Three)

Elaine and Max wearing red glowing goggles are near a purple blob, a skeleton, and a green ghost. "How did-" says Elaine. "No time! Follow me!" interrupts Max. They go into an alley between a broken down pub and another broken down building. "This isn't a safe place for you!" says Max. "Max, you're 5!" says Elaine, getting angry. "Look, there are demons who will eat you." says Max. "Then why are you here? Where is this?!?" says Elaine. "The Other Side." says Max mysteriously. "Of what?" says Elaine. "..." says Max. BZZ BZZ "Hold on. I'm being paged." Max takes out his pager, which has the number 257-6926 on it. "You have a PAGER?" says Elaine.
< First "How are you even getting signal?" "This WiFi router I carry around with me."
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2019-08-13

#188: The Other Side (Part Two)

AAAAA Elaine is falling through a tunnel of glowing colors and ghosts. She falls to the ground with a WHUMP. She gets up. "Whoa." There are creatures surrounding her, ghosts, a skeleton, and the Grim Reaper. We zoom out and see another stick figure, a giant monster, a giant bug, a giant blob, and a robot. "Hmm..." she says. We zoom back in. Elaine is pretending to be a monster to fit in. She bumps into the stick figure, who is revealed to be Max wearing red glowing goggles. "Ow!" says Max. His goggles slip off and he falls down. "Max?!?" says Elaine. "Hi Mom." says Max.
Hold on, is that the Grim Reaper?
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2019-08-11

#187: The Other Side (Part One)

Whistling, Elaine unlocks her house door and walks inside. "Max, I'm home! Huh. I'm sure he'll return..." She sits down on a couch. CREAKKK "Huh? Uh..." Glowing strands of sparkling color envelop around her couch. The room darkens and a glowing portal opens in the floor. The couch falls in. "AAAA"
Where is Max?
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2019-08-07

#186: Walm*rt

Fred is talking to Grady. They are on an airplane seat and Fred is next to the window. Fred says "So I was at Walmart and-" CRASH the ceiling breaks apart. A Walmart worker climbs down via a rope. "What the heck?" says Fred. Grady has covered his mouth in shock. "Ha! Saying "Walmart" on a commercial airline is a strict violation of trademark law. You owe me a fine of $3,000!" says the worker. "What? No!" says Fred. Grady is now confused.
CRASH "There's the guy who used our trademark in his webcomic! Get him!" "Hold up! I was using it for educational purposes!" "Arrrgh! We'll get you next time, cartoonist! Don't be so cocky about avoiding this little incident."
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2019-08-05

#185: Hole (Part Three)


"What year is it now?" asks Fred. Dr. Alice Brown, a person wearing a jetpack and helmet with eyes on its screen, says "2852. Earth has become utopia. There's no war..." They are near a futuristic skyline. "No pollution..." They are near a futuristic monorail in the sky. "No hunger..." They pass some friendly robots. "And most importantly, free WiFi everywhere!" "Woohoo!" says Fred.
Unfortunately, they haven't standardized everything to USB yet.
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2019-08-03

#184: Hole (Part Two)

Fred is confused, scratching his head. He realizes he is surrounded by futuristic technology. "!" He stands up as a person wearing a helmet with blue electronic eyes and jetpack hovers above him. "It works!" says the jetpacker. "Who are you?" asks Fred. The jetpacker lands and says "I'm Dr. Alice Brown. Welcome to the future."
So people do use jetpacks in the future!
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