Tiny Stripz: December 2019

2019-12-29

#218: Rob Boss

[Fred is sitting on the couch. A TV remote and chip bag with chips are strewn across it. Amanda is standing next to him.] Amanda: Whatcha doing? Fred: Watching Rob Boss. [We see the TV screen. We see "Rob Boss", an angry figure with the signature afro of Bob Ross, but with stubble. He is holding a black painter's pallete made of glass with his initials on it.] Rob Boss: I'm ROB BOSS. And this is how you PAINT. The ONLY way to paint. All that other stuff is pure GARBAGE. [We zoom into the canvas, on which he is haphazardly splattering green paint with his two-inch brush.] Rob Boss: Now I'm gonna make an angry little tree here. SFX: SPLAT [We zoom out. The easel has a splatter of torn paper and green paint as a "tree" where Rob Boss has painted.] Rob Boss: Don't like it? DEAL WITH IT.

Ok, ready for your bravery test? *chuckles* *throws palette at canvas*

2019-12-25

#217: Crowdfunding

[Max and Grady are walking together. Grady looks slightly annoyed.] Max: Hey Dad, Mom told me Santa flies around the world giving toys to good children! [Grady turns around towards Max.] Grady: That's ridiculous. How would he get the money for that? [A screenshot of a Kickstarter for Santa Claus.] CAPTION: Santa's Workshop - $45.7M pledged - 3M backers - 3 days to go

There are rumors that Santa actually compromises business email accounts and wires money to scam bank accounts, and that the whole Kickstarter thing is just a cover.

2019-12-22

#216: How to Join a Conversation (Part Two)

[There is a caption and two words in green and red underneath it.] CAPTION: DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE SUBJECT? YES NO [YES.] CAPTION: CONGRATULATIONS! [NO. Fred is standing awkwardly.] [He looks at his phone.] [The phone has the Wikipedia article for cat.] [Fred talks to Amanda and Grady.] Fred: Talking about cats? Amanda: Yeah! [Fred recites the Wikipedia article's first three sentences, which form a forboding block of text.] Fred: The cat is a small carnivorous mammal. It is the only domesticated species in the family Felidae and often referred to as the domestic cat to distinguish it from wild members of the family. The cat is either a house cat or a farm cat, which are pets, or a feral cat, which ranges freely and avoids human contact. [Amanda and Grady are staring awkwardly at Fred, whose mouth is open in a smile.]

Awkward

2019-12-16

#215: How to Join a Conversation (Part One)

[The header. Tiny Stripz is in blocky rainbow letters.] HEADER: TINY STRIPZ PRESENTS HOW TO JOIN A CONVERSATION [Fred is walking and whistling.] [He sees Amanda and Grady having an excited conversation.] Fred: ! [Fred listens intently.] Fred (thinking): INTERPRETING SUBJECT... Amanda and Grady (off-panel): bla bla cats! bla bla [Amanda sees him a few meters away. Author's note: Metric is the best system. I am an American by the way.] [Amanda waves to Fred.] Fred (thinking): The humans have accepted me as one of their own.

Mission accomplished. Return to base. They will never suspect anything.

2019-12-10

#214: The Weekend

[Fred is raising his hand in triumph and confidence.] CAPTION: THE WEEKEND Fred: YES! [Fred sits down at his desk and rests his hands on his laptop.] Fred: Today is going to be a productive day! [Beat.] [Fred starts typing.] Laptop: twitter.com

Well, there's always tomorrow (except if it's Sunday).

2019-12-07

#213: Coder Life

[A black hatted sillouhette is standing in cascading green binary.] CAPTION: WHAT MY PARENTS THINK I DO [A determined coder is sitting at his desk, confidently staring at several monitors displaying code and strange symbols, windows, and charts. We may never know what this dope dude is doing, he's so leet.] CAPTION: WHAT I THINK I DO [A frustrated coder is smashing his laptop with a sledgehammer. He has started an electrical fire. He doesn't care. HIS CODE ISNT WORKING HE NEED SMASH.] CAPTION: WHAT I ACTUALLY DO

I recently waded through a bunch of uncommented code, then redesigned it completely...AND IT WORKED. It was (*puts on sunglasses*) dope.