#257: Santa's Workload


[Max and Alex are walking in the snow.] \n Max: What are you asking Santa for this year? \n Alex: Max, Santa doesn't exist. \n [Max turns to Alex.] \n Max: He does too! How come you know I'm a demigod but won't believe in Santa? \n Alex: Th-that's different! There's evidence! \n [Max climbs on to the USPS mailbox while handing Alex some paperwork.] \n Max: Well, if you change your mind, I brought extra paperwork. \n [Alex looks at the paperwork.] \n [Alex fills out the A-56 Delivery Request.] \n [An elf talks to Santa, who is buried under paperwork and resting his head on his desk.] \n Elf: Sir, you have some mail from an Alexander McJeannason. \n Santa: UUUUNGGHHH \n [Santa looks at a wall of files, while the elf inspects some papers.] \n [The elf reads, Santa screams.] \n Elf: It says he changed his name to match his gender identity in 2010, but our records still list him as Alexandra. So, we need to submit forms A-97 through И-54, then request a complete refiling of all with a last name of "McJea-" and wait 6-8 weeks for them to reorganize- \n Santa: AAAAAAAA \n [Alex is reading a letter next to the mailbox with Alex.] \n Alex: "Your form could not be processed because I really need a break?" \n Max: They have some great spas at the North Pole.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays! Managing mail from two billion children takes a toll, so delivery will be delayed this Christmas. (Santa is supportive of trans people, he is just overworked.)

 Oops, correction: Margonsfield's suburbs are in 92036, not 91916. 91916 is downtown.


#256: Bad Idea


[Fred, Amanda, and Elaine.] \n Fred: You know that power outage we had? \n Amanda: Yeah. \n Fred: I realized even though it was dark, I could still feel around for where everything was! \n [Fred holds a green blindfold.] \n Fred: I've decided to go blindfolded for a day to see what it's like. \n Amanda (off-panel): Uh oh. \n Elaine (off-panel): There are so many ways that could go wrong. \n [Fred's phone alarm buzzes on the table.] \n PHONE: 6:30 \n [Fred showering with blindfold.] \n [Fred brushing his teeth.] \n [Fred washing his face.] \n SFX: SPLASH \n [Fred eating his breakfast, cereal strewn about.] \n SFX: CRUNCH \n [Fred clicks his seatbelt.] \n SFX: CLICK \n [Fred drives out of his barn/garage in his 1952 Volkswagen Beetle.] \n SFX: VROOM \n [A Prius is waiting at a red light.] \n SFX: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK \n [Fred's car crashes into the Prius.] \n SFX: BOOM \n [Fred, Amanda, Elaine. Fred is covered in casts.] \n Elaine: That..did not go well. \n Fred: But not in the way you might expect!
"Why didn't you just take off the blindfold to go to work?" "Hindsight is 20/20, okay? Especially when you can't see at all at the time."