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2020-01-27

#224: Productivity

[Life, a ghost-like blue figure, is floating in the air holding a paper. Amanda is at her desk, looking at him.] Life: You need to do your homework. [Close-up on Amanda.] Amanda: Maybe I've been avoiding my homework because there's too much stress in my life... [Amanda smiles.] Amanda: and maybe to get rid of that stress, I should play Minecraft! [Life drags Amanda away from her laptop, knocking it and the chair over in the process.] Life: No.
Any human in a nutshell. Just substitute "You need to do your homework" with "You need to walk the dog", "You need to take your vitamins", "You need to destroy the One Ring", etc, etc.

2020-01-19

#223: Everything is Football

[Someone kicking a soccer ball.] CAPTION: "FOOTBALL" [People playing American football.] CAPTION: "AMERICAN FOOTBALL" [Someone dunking a basketball.] CAPTION: "BASKET FOOTBALL" [Someone playing tennis.] CAPTION: "RACKET FOOTBALL"
Why are we the only ones that call it soccer? (P.S. I'm getting much better with publishing lately! 😁👍🗓✅)

2020-01-18

#222: Healthy

[Fred is sitting at a stand with a pile of sugar. Amanda is looking.] Fred: Hi Amanda! Would you like to try some of "Fred's Healthy Snack"? [Close up of sugar pile.] Amanda (off-panel): That's a pile of sugar. [Fred takes some apple slices out of the sugar.] Fred: Yeah, but it has some apple slices in here, see? It's healthy! [Amanda takes some bills out of her pocket.] Amanda: Healthy? How much for a scoop, then? Fred (off-panel): Twenty bucks.
Sugarfree*

*Contains sugar

2020-01-11

#221: Reverse Current

[An electrician is inspecting a meter attatched to a power strip.] Electrician: Just as I suspected. The electric current is flowing in reverse. Fred: That explains everything... [Fred is turning on a light switch.] CAPTION: EARLIER SFX: CLICK [Fred is in utter blackness.] Fred: ?! [Fred is aiming a hose at a tree.] SFX: CLICK [The hose suctions all the leaves off the tree.] SFX: FOOSH [Fred reaches for the fridge handle.] [He opens it to reveal the fridge is on fire.]
And I think today, my laptop actually made me more productive.

2020-01-01

#219: Dog Mode

[Fred looks slightly depressed. Elaine is in the 2020 spirit, with a rainbow party hat and even a rainbow speech bubble.] CAPTION: 2019-12-31 11:59:00pm Elaine: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Fred: I don't get it... [Fred starts monologuing.] Fred: I was told, "By 2020, there'll be flying cars." Over and over, "By 2020, there'll be flying cars." [Fred grows angry.] Fred: But it's 2020, and there are no flying car- [A silver futuristic Tesla hovering above the ground with laser beams crashes through the wall. Fred looks mildly intrigued. Elaine looks appropriately confused and surprised, her party hat flying off.] SFX: SCREECH [Elon Musk gets out of the car.] Off-panel: Elon Musk?! Elon Musk: Hi. [Elon Musk apologetically waves towards the car.] Elon Musk: Oh, uh, sorry the whole flying car thing is late. It took a while to get Dog Mode working.
For one thing, we had a feature for the car to imitate human driving. But on New Years', the car drove around wildly, eventually getting arrested by police. I think it imitated a little too much.