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2019-11-28

#212: UnHiNgEd

[Amanda is standing next to Elaine. Elaine is blisfully unaware of Amanda's overdose of caffeine.] Amanda: Ah, Thanksgiving! [A bluebird flies by.] Amanda: The birds are in the air and the trees are in the ground! [We zoom in on Amanda.] Amanda: Turkey, freshly mined and polished! Ripe cage-free applesauce! Elaine (off-panel): Wait, what? [We zoom back out. The caffeine is beginning to go to Amanda's head. She is overexcited and wide-eyed, like the zany face emoji (ðŸĪŠ).] Amanda: Hahaha! Cranberries! Fully hatched! Scrambled turducken! Grapes! Yum yum yum! Elaine: Maybe you shouldn't have bought those twelve boxes of Thanksgiving Sale coffee.
I know you wanted to use your new CoffeeMakr Pro™, but...

2019-11-25

#211: Not Again (Part Four)

[Alex is sitting in a bed. The window lock rattles and then unlocks.] SFX: RATTLE RATTLE CLICK [A balding doctor with black curls on either side of his head falls out.] SFX: SHF! Doctor: AGH! [He looks up at Alex.] Doctor: ? [He walks over. Alex is disbeleiving after Doctor speaks.] Doctor: Oh, hello! I see our pig brought some new patients! Alex: You're the doctor? [Doctor points his thumbs towards himself.] Doctor: That's me! [Doctor trips and flies through the air over Alex's bed, unexplicably. Alex is bewildered.] Doctor: WAUGH! [He lands off-panel.] SFX (off-panel): THUD Alex: You okay? [We zoom in on Alex's face.] Doctor (off-panel): Yeah. I may be clumsy, but I don't break easily! [Doctor has walked over to Alex's bedside. He is now holding the pig from the previous comic.] Doctor: I'd like you to meet our magic pig. Alex: "Magic?" [The pig's eyes turn all-knowing and green. The background behind him is replaced with a timeless, powerful space background. Green electricity shoots from the pig's eyes.] SFX: KZZT
< First You sure don't wanna mess with this pig! ⚡⚡🐷🧙‍♂️⚡⚡

2019-11-09

#209: Not Again (Part Two)

[Max is kneeling over a hole.] Max: Hmm... Alex: Help? [Max walks away, and has a lightbulb over his head.] [He comes back holding a rope into the hole.] Max: Climb this! [In the hole, Alex tries to climb the rope.] Alex: HRNGHH [Alex falls as the rope goes from taut to loose.] Alex: ?! [Max lands on Alex, holding the rope. Alex has pulled him down! Alex is surprised.] SFX: WHUMP [We zoom out.] Alex: Great. We're stuck down here with no one to help us. Things can't get any wor- [Max lunges toward Alex, panic in his eyes.] Max: DON'T- [The ground gives way beneath them.] SFX: CRUMBLE Max: -jinx it.
😈ðŸ•ģ The god of deep holes in the ground takes no pity on mortals.

2019-11-03

#207: No Distractions*

[Grady is walking into the room. Amanda is relaxing on the couch.] Grady: Hey, what are you doing here? Amanda: Relaxing. This is where I go when I need some peace. [Close-up of Amanda.] Amanda: No distractions, no interruptions...just quiet. [Zooms out again.] Amanda: Peace and quiet... [Fred crashes through the ceiling. Grady jumps.] SFX: CRASH [Fred looks up at the hole.] Fred: I've escaped you again, despicable fiend! [Fred is gone. Grady and Amanda are staring at Fred off-panel to the right.]
It was nice while it lasted... 😔ðŸĪŦ